Left me
by 19951996child
Summary: Bella lost everything that really mattered, her best friend and her twin brother.How can you put your faith in people that already hurt you,
1. Chapter 1

**_Yea its a new story, i am so sorry but this Bella, is a badass, if you dont like Bella being that way, you wont like this story _**

**_i own nothing, but the plot, i hope you guys enjoy _**

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My life was far from normal; I lost everything, my best friend Rosalie aka Rosa. I lost her because Jessica and Lauren seen potential in her and give her a make over and guess what, she looked beautiful (I always told her but she never believed me). After that she decide to leave me for her new best friends, I don't care anymore but back then it hurt like hell. They just didn't steal my best friend but my twin brother Jasper too, that one hurt the most, and I loved him with everything in my heart. We did everything together, we were never separated, and nothing could tear us apart, if you messed with me than you messed with him. Ever since Alice went out with him I hardly see him, we hardly talk, I lost everything because of those three and now I have a new personal, a guarded one.

I hang out with the bad people of the school, I smoke weed, get drunk and go to parties almost every night. My new friends are James and Riley, and James cousin Laurent. I am the only girl in the group but I don't care, we have loads of fun. I get rides from them everyday so I don't have to see the worried looks from my so called brother or his friends. He claims he worries about me, but I don't care, if he really cared about me he wouldn't have left me in the first place.

I groaned as I woke up the next day, I barley got any sleep. I kind of remember some things from last night, like I snuck out at midnight but I don't know how I got home. I remember smoking cocaine and drinking whiskey. I heard the drugs double the affects of the alcoholic, so of course I wanted to go back to my happy place.

I dragged my feet across the rug in no hurry to get to school today. My father said I had to ride with my brother to school, because he didn't approve of my friends, like I care. I was a little still dizzy so of course I walked into the door. I had bad timing when I walked into the door cause at the moment Jasper came outside his. "Bella, are you okay", he asked, I rolled my eyes. He put his hand in front of me stopping my way of escape. "I asked you a question"

"You aren't my father last time I checked"

"I am your brother"

"Says the doctor, you got to show me some proof"

"What time do you come home?"

"Why"

"I don't like your friends"

"I don't like yours either, you don't see me complaining"

"Well, you better, they are riding with us today"

"Better go get the drugs", before he could say anything I ducked under his arms and run to my room locking the door. I always kept a stack of drugs under my bed, away from Charlie, like he checked anymore. Nobody bother me anymore, nobody noticed I was missing so i don't care either. I heard knocking on my door but I ignored it; as I light the drugs and put it to my mouth. I felt it taking its effect already, all my previous worries all disappeared. I sighed and pulled out the bottle I kept under the bed too. The more I take the less I feel and because of that I drunk the whole bottle, it was better this way. I felt dizzy but I ignored it, almost everyday I went to school late or drunk so today wasn't any different.

I got ready and ran downstairs, of course my name is Bella I fell down the stair, lucky Jasper was there, or unlucky depends on how you look at the situation. "Whoa Bella, what's wrong", I laughed at his statement, nothing was wrong now. He searched my face for something, I don't know what but he must have found it because disappointment covered his face.

As soon as he opened his mouth to talk, the car beeped signaling, I rushed outside leaving Jasper in the house. He came out just as my hand hit the door. "Bella", he shouted, "You left you bookbag". I laughed at that, yea like I was going to use it. I rolled my eyes and got in the car, I made sure to make no eye contact with no one in there, really I didn't know who in there beside Jasper. He soon came in sitting in the front, leaving me beside 3 strangers. I didn't acknowledge them and Jasper was getting irritated by it. I felt everyone eyes on me and I couldn't help but to turn in see who was in there. I was shocked to see Rosa, she looked at me unsure, then Alice, Jasper girlfriend, she never tried to meet me, and she already met Charlie so I be damn if I acknowledge her when she didn't even want to meet me. Beside Alice, was Edward, the one I secretly had a crush on, but he was too good for me, I was a bad child and he was an angel so I didn't want to talk to him either. Lastly was Emmett, I didn't really know him, but from what I've heard he goes with Rosa, and that's reason enough not to want to talk to him.

"Are you going to say thanks for the ride, or hi atleast to them", growled Jasper. I laughed at that, yea right. He seemed to be getting angrier."How rude", I heard Rosa mumble. She was killing my buzz. I looked around for my iPod but it was no where to be found. "Damn", I cursed, I left it in the house. Good thing they haven't driven off yet, I hoped out the car and run into the house quickly picking up my IPod. When I came back out they were gone. I growled at that, how the fuck can you leave your own sister?

My walk to school was horrible, it started to rain, and I didn't bring a raincoat so I got soaked from head to toe. I made it to school in time for lunch, I was pissed beyond reasoning, and it was a bad thing when that happened, I tended to do really stupid stuff when that happened. I pushed the door open when I walked into the lunchroom, soon everyone got quiet.

I was concentrating really hard on not doing anything stupid. Jasper and his 'crew' looked up to see me and he got a shocked look, so did everyone else, where they expecting me not to be mad. I walked over to his table, ignoring the whispering, I could deal with them later. When I reached the table Alice started to speck but I held my finger, stopping her. "What kind of brother are you, I go inside to get my iPod and you guys bail, I never thought I could really hate own family, dislike I am sure, but you prove that wrong, I cant stand you, you make me sick, you always turned your back on me, your own twin, we were so close nothing could tear us apart but I guess high school, I was stupid enough to believe we were the twins that could make it through that, no matter what I said, you were the one I wanted the most to take my side but I see that is impossible now, now I know my real brothers are James, Riley, and Laurent.

"They are nothing like brothers", Rosa argued. I glared at her, she was one to talk, she abandoned me and she was supposed to be my sister. "Shut up Rosa, like your any better, you left me, you own best friend, when you realize you care so beautiful that you didn't have to hang with me anymore, I was there for you when, Jessica and Lauren weren't, remembered that". She looked ashamed, well she should. Alice looked at me with pity, I didn't fucking need her pity, she was one of the reason Jasper left me side.

"Look Bella, please tell me you don't mean it, that you really think of me as a brother", Jasper begged.

"Yea, sure, not likely," I walked away from the table, not once feeling regret for specking the truth. I heard them calling my name but I ignored them, they weren't worth my time. I walked up to James and he looked sad. "Need a ride?" I nodded yes, atleast I can count on some people.

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_**A/N: REWIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, SHOULD I FINISH, OR JUST LET THIS IDEA BURN, **_

_**BYE**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_WELL I AM BACK, HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS CHAPTER, _**

**_NOT THAT MUCH HAPPENS BUT THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE VERY INTENSE SO WATCH_**

**_I OWN NOTHING_**

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I saw James and Riley stand up and I followed the, I knew where we where going. I was about to go get deep into my happy place other words I was about to smoke some drugs. When I was there I couldn't help what I dreamed about that was the bad thing, I tried so many times, but it never worked. It was all about Jasper and me, about how close we would be or should be. I sighed and looked at the floor. No matter what I do, he wouldn't get the message, I loved and hated him for that. He was just going to let me go so easily, like I meant nothing to him. I started to walk to the door following behind James, and Riley. Everyone was silent, just staring at us, but I didn't care, I was torn between anger and pain, only two things took that away, drugs, and Jasper.

I reached the door before James and I was hesitant about pushing it opening. I knew what I was thinking was bad and that I shouldn't do it, but I couldn't help it. I turned around to Jasper table, everyone there was looking at me, I ignored their eyes and looked at Jasper. I saw him staring at me with tears in his eyes. I was shocked, he never cried in front of people before, not even me. He thought it made him seem weak, and vulnerable. I wanted to run to him and make him feel better.

I felt myself starting to walk towards his direction, but before my foot was even off the ground James grabbed me. "What do you think you are doing Bella", he whispered in my ears.

"Trying to help my brother, he is in pain, look at him"

"Who was there for you when you were in pain, surely not him?" I didn't have an argument for that, I knew he was right. Jasper left me for Alice, so why couldn't I leave him; he was the one who wanted to be free. I shook James arm off of me and I walked out the cafeteria. He wanted me gone so I am going to be gone.

I didn't have to turn around to know James was smiling, he never like seeing me get hurt. That is why I liked him so much; he would do anything to take my pain away from me. This is what a real brother did. I turned around and hugged him, he was tense for a second but then he relaxed and hugged me back. "Thank you James, for everything, without you, I would have lost my mind". He laughed at that, he was never one showing emotions. He let go me and grabbed my hand and we walked to his car hand and hand.

Alice Pov:

Jasper was a wreck, he saw Bella leave, and he said he knew her well enough to know that she had finally let go. I was scared to ask what it meant; I knew the outcome couldn't be good. I couldn't help but feel like I was the one to blame for all this, if he wasn't dating me, he would have always stuck up for Bella. He used to always talk about her when we first met. I made him stop though; I told him it wasn't good for a brother to be that obsessed with his sister, after a while he listened to me. I noticed some days he would look worried, or he would be so sad. He would never tell me what was wrong, and I didn't want to pry in his business. I found out through Rosa, she said 'Bella is doing drugs'. I didn't think a sweet girl like her could do drugs.

Jasper's groaning snapped me out of my thoughts. "I lost my sister, Alice, my twin sister, what type of brother am I, that I hurt her so much, I was the reason she started misbehaving, she felt like I didn't care about her". Edward shook his head no, he didn't think Jasper was in the wrong at all, but he didn't know the whole story, just about Jasper, nobody ever told him about Rosa, and how it all happened. "That's not true, its Bella choice what she decide is not your fault". Rosa looked so ashamed, I knew how she felt. "Actually, it's my fault, I started all of those, I am so stupid, I lost my bestfriend and in the process I made Jasper lose his sister".

"What are you talking about Rosa", Emmett said, he hated not being in the loop. Rosa sighed and looked Jasper in the eyes. "I guess its time for me to tell my story, the true version".

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_**A/N: what do you guys think, review and tell me, i should have another chapter up today or late tonight so on the watch out**_

_**peace**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Yup, here is another one, story taken from Rosa POV in the beginning._**

**_i own nothing and enjoy the story_**

**_Also check out my new story Dragon_**

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"Okay", I said clearing my throat, "First thing first, Bella didn't leave me, I left her, and I am sorry I lied to you guys about that". I heard Alice gasped, I knew the only reason she was on my side was because she thought Bella got mad about all the attention I was getting and left, that wasn't the case, and Bella wasn't like that.

"Jessica and Lauren invited me to a make-over, I of course said yes because I wanted to feel accepted, I didn't even bother to ask If I could bring Bella, she told me she didn't mind, she was such a good friend. Well Jessica gave me the make-over and Lauren gave me the clothes, the also said if I wanted to be popular I had to stop hanging with Bella, at first I denied, I wasn't going to leave my best friend. They said I didn't have to do it right away but I needed to do it. I thought I could do it, since she had you jasper, anyways. So over the weeks I started talking to her less, and less, and by Friday I completely ignored her. I recall her telling you what happened, but by then I already fed you my lie about her leaving me. Then Alice came along and had you sprung and you weren't there for her either. After that I noticed she started hanging out with the bad kids and then well now she smokes, and drinks, and parties, I am so sorry you guys".

Nobody said anything to me; Jasper was glaring at me through his tears. Alice had her mouth on the floor. "You did this all because you wanted to be accepted", Edward asked. I nodded my head yes, I was ashamed of my actions, it was horrible for me to treat my friends like that but still I did it. He got up and walked away angrily. Alice stood up next with Jasper by her side, "I thought I knew you better". Then they walked away too, only I and Emmett were left. "You can leave too, if you want"

"I am not going to leave you babe, I am disappointed in you, but you need me". I smiled at him and ran into his lap letting the tears come freely.

Bella POV:

We were in the car, windows fogged up, laughing our asses off about nothing in the world. We heard someone knocking and I winded the window down. I was not expecting my crush, Edward Cullen, to be there. "Get out the car Bella". I didn't like being told what to do, epically if he was here just for my brother. I laughed at him and shook my head no while taking a smoke. He quickly yanked the door opened and pulled me out the car, snatching the bud out of my hands. "Hey", I complained. "Who do you think you are to come in here?"

"I am trying to save you"

"From what, fun"

"We all know this is the only escape for you"

"You don't know shit", I said while walking away. I didn't like people figuring things out about me. He caught up to me and grabbed my hands. "Your brother is a mess and you need to go talk to him"

"That isn't my brother that is just someone I was FORCED to share a womb with for 9 months"

"Rosa lied to him, he thought you left her"

"That doesn't justify his action, Edward, he left me, his own sister for…for…everyone, he put everyone before me, he never had time for me, he was never home, he didn't care, he stop asking me to come out with him, he acted like he was ashamed to be seen with me, I know I am not popular but come on, I am his fucking sister, that's the second person that left me for popularity, he wanted me out and that's what he got"

I wasn't expecting Edward to pull me into a hug, but I wasn't protesting either. I hugged him back, I couldn't tell the last time I hugged someone, it felt good, and he smelled good too. He finally let go and looked me on the eyes with his bright green ones. "Bella, nobody is going to leave you anymore"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just trust me"

I nodded; here I was again, going to go put my trust in someone else. Why am I such an idiot?

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**_A/N: REVIEW, REVIEW AND REVIEW, GIVE MY SOME IDEAS, GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHT,_**

**_HA YEA, SURE ANYWAYS _**

**_THANKS FOR READING, REVIEW IF YOU WANT NO ONE IS FORCING YOU SERIOSUSLY, I WAS JUST PLAYING UP THERE,_**

**_GOODBYE_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hello everone, i know you must be pissed, i went off the face of the earth with my stories, and i am so sorry but school work was so busy and i still ended up failing math so i have take it over, so yea i didnt have time, then so much drama at home,**_

_**but i am back and i feeling better, thanks to who wrote me and asked me to write more of this story, it let me know that i have people who care about my story and i shouldnt give up...sooo enough of my exuse and watever else; i know you guys must have been waiting long so i give you**_

_**LEFT ME PT 4**_

_**I own nothing. song goes to Taylor swift and story to S.M  
**_

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With my hand still in Edwards', he started towards the school. "Where are we going," I asked him. He didn't answer me just kept pulling me hands towards him. I sighed and gave up I would find out soon enough. We walked into the school and I saw my brother sitting on the floor with his hand's on his knees and his head in his hand's. The guilt came out my 10 fold, I did that to him. I ripped my hands out of Edwards and ran to my brother. He looked up when I touched his hands. He looked horrible, his normal shinning blue eyes were dull, and lifeless and red around the rims from crying. I shivered knowing I did that to him "Bella", he started, but i cut him off. "Shut up", I said calmy.

"Bella you don't understand..."

"Jasper I am going to tell you one more time to, shut the fuck up", Everyone looked at me shocked. Most likely because, he was trying to apologize and I kept telling him to shut his mouth, but hey if he did, he would know what I am trying to tell him. "Whatever you have to say I don't want to hear it,"

He opened his mouth to interrupt me i put me hand up to stop him,"you are my twin brother, no matter what I say I can't really hate you, I mean come on, we were together from day one. I love you but, we need space from each other for a little while".

"Bella, we can't do that, your my sister"

"You did it before without any problems".

He didn't answer me, so I took that as my cue to leave. "I love you Jazz, bye". I got up and walked towards my class. I heard footsteps behind me and I turned around to see it was Edward. " Do you think that was such a good idea". I nodded my head yes. Jasper is going to learn how to live without me, like I learned to live without him in my life. Edward didn't say anything just kept walking with me.

School was boring for the rest of the day. When the bell rung I couldn't be more happier that it was Friday, I could go chill with James and the rest of the gang. I started my walk towards the Jame's house with my iPod blasting "Fucking Perfect", by Pink. I heard a honk that made me jump in response. I turned around to glare at the offending car but stop short when I saw it was Jasper and his friends. "You want a ride", I shook my head no and kept walking. "Come on Bella, let us make it up to you for leaving you this morning". I stop short thinking it over. I mean they couldn't be that bad if they wanted to make it up to me, I sighed and nodded my head yes, then put my headphones back in so i didn't have to contrubute in the useless conversation around me.

I got in the car and looked around. Everyone one was there, Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Alice and the she devil, Rosa. I saw their lips moving but I refuse to take my headsets out. I saw Alice hands going to pull it out my ears but I gave her a an evil look and she quickly retreated her hand. Smart for her, I guess she wanted to keep that hand.

Jasper POV:

"Jasper, Alice whined, "She wont take out the headphones, and when I tried she looked like she wanted to kill me". I sighed and gripped the stirring wheel tighter. "Guys, I don't know what to do, we use to be so close, now she doesn't even want to talk to me".

"Dude, it will be okay, she can't stay mad at you forever", Emmett said. "You don't know Bella", Rosa whispered. I haven't completely forgiven her, the only reason she is still in the car is because Emmett beg me on his hands and knees, (literally), and asked me to take her with us. "Yea like you do", Alice said angrily.

"I know her better than any of you"

"Not better than Jasper"

"Please Jasper head was too far up your ass to see his sister was hurting, even when I wasn't talking to her I could see you guys were hurting her'

Alice didn't reply back to that. Everyone here was at fault for what happened to Bella. we all screwed up. I heard Bella start to sing quietly. Bella was always a good singer, but she didn't believe me. I turned off the radio so I could hear what she was saying.

_I see your face in my mind as I drive away,_

_Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way._

_People are people,_

_And sometimes we change our minds._

_But its killing me to see you go after all this time._

_Mmm mmm mmm_

_Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm_

_Mmm mmm mmm_

_Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm_

_Music starts playin like the end of a sad movie,_

_Its the kinda ending you dont really wanna see._

_Cause its tragedy and itll only bring you down,_

_Now I dont know what to be without you around._

_And we know its never simple,_

_Never easy._

_Never a clean break, noone here to save me._

_Youre the only thing I know like the back of my hand,_

_And I cant,_

_Breathe,_

_Without you,_

_But I have to,_

_Breathe,_

_Without you,_

_But I have to._

_Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt._

_Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve._

_But people are people,_

_and sometimes it doesnt work_

_nothing we say is going to save us from this fall out _

_And we know its never simple,_

_Never easy._

_Never a clean break, noone here to save me._

_Youre the only thing I know like the back of my hand,_

_And I cant,_

_Breathe,_

_Without you,_

_But I have to,_

_Breathe,_

_Without you,_

_But I have to._

_its 2. am _

_feeling like i just lost a friend_

_hope you know its not easy _

_easy for me_

_it 2. am _

_feeling like i just lost a friend_

_hope you know its anit easy_

_easy for me_

_and we know its never simple _

_never easy_

_never a clean break, noone hear to save me_

_ohhhh_

_And I cant,_

_Breathe,_

_Without you,_

_But I have to,_

_Breathe,_

_Without you,_

_But I have to_

_Sorry (oh) Sorry (mmm)_

_Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)_

_Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)_

_Sorry_

Nobody said anything for the rest of the drive. I let the song sink into my head, she doesn't trust me the way she did anymore, I messed up big time. I was losing my sister and I didn't know how to stop it

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Don't worry i am back and ready to write some more, so be on the look out for the rest of my stories


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hey look, 2 update in one day, i am on a roll, this chapter is soo sad, but he had to be done. thanks for the review it made me laugh big time. like rolling on the floor laughing.. anywaysssss  
_**

**_i own nothing  
_**

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Bella POV:

I looked up to see where they were taking me. It was in the direction of Rosa's house. I will be damned if I go back there. I slowly pulled the headsets out of my ears. "Can you guys take me to Jame's house". I saw them all jumped at the sound of my voice and I laughed a little to myself. "I am not taking you there Bella", Jasper said through his teeth.

"Why not"

"They are bad people"

"Oh my god Jasper, shut up with that, just take me over there"

"NO". I saw everyone but Alice looking at me wary. She looked very angry. "Why can't you stop being such a bitch to you brother he is trying a little, to be nicer to you, but you have such a big stick up your ass to see that don't you", she yelled at me. I felt my glare intensify on her, the more she talked, I didn't like her to being with and now she was just pushing bottoms. I ignored her and turned my attention to Jasper, "I will either jump out the fucking car or you can take me there, your choice". He didn't even look at me. I sighed, I hated when people underestimated me. I put my headsets back in my ears, and I saw Alice smile at Jasper. I smirked, she thought she had won. I stuffed my I Pod into my pocket and open the door. Jasper eyes were wide with alarmed. I was just about to jump out but Edward quickly shut the door, and yanked my headsets out my ears and looked at me murderously. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"Been there done that". I seen everyone eyes widened to my response. I didn't feel like explaining myself to people i don't even trust so I took my headsets out of Edward's hands and put it back in my ears.

Jasper POV:

I was shocked, I never knew she tried to kill herself. i am worse than I thought, I led her to suicide. I heard Rosa shouting her name. "I am sick of this", Alice yelled. She turned around in her seat and yanked the headsets out of Bella's ear. "Look okay, stop being such a bitch and..". She never got to finish that sentence before anyone could react, Bella leaped out of her seat and punched Alice in the face, repeatedly. I quickly pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the car. "Someone stop her!", Rosa yelled. I wrapped my hands around Bella, and pulled her off my girlfriend. "Stop hurting her Bella, what the fuck is your problem?", I yelled at her. When she finally stop fighting against me, she had blood all over her hands, dripping down her arms, and Alice had blood coming down her nose, and she had a black eye.

"Get off of me", Bella yelled. I quickly released her and she opened her door and hoped out the car. "Always defended your fucking girlfriend Jasper, fuck you, I am tied of this shit, I am done with you, I am gone from you life for good", with that she slammed the door and ran down the road.

Alice groaned from beside me,and I started the car and drove to the hospital. "I am sorry Jasper, I was trying to help and..", Alice said. I silenced her with a wave of my hand, "It wasn't your fault, darlin". She smiled but then grimaced in pain. I speed-ed up some more.

Rosa POV:

I was shocked when Bella jumped across the seat and beat the shit out of Alice. Half of me was happy, cause Alice deserve it for calling her a bitch, and the other half was scared. I knew Bella could beat some ass, but when she had all that blood on her hands, I saw someone else, someone I created. Then Jasper had to be the dumb ass and stick up for Alice again. He couldn't see Bella face from his angle but she was in pain, yet again. When she made that threat about not coming back, I was nervous. Bella was the type of person who doesn't play around with threats.

"Guys", I said worriedly,"what if she means it". everyone ones face went blank. "She wouldn't leave us behind. no matter how bad she gets she wouldn't do that", Jasper said. I knew he was trying to make himself feel better, so I didn't say anything but I had a bad feeling about this.

Bella POV:

I stormed into our house, well no longer my house, its Jasper and Charlie house now. I had called my mother on my way home and she agreed to my idea of moving back down there with her, she lived in Arizona, perfect far away from everyone. I ran upstairs passing Charlie on my way. "Whoa, slow down, where's the fire?"

"I'm moving out"

"Where do you think your going"

"Don't act like you care now, it shouldn't matter anyways, I hate this place, I hate this house, I want to leave, don't try and stop me cause it not's going to work, I never fit in here"

I ran to my room, before he could respond and slammed the door. I was angrily throwing things into suite cases. Something caught my eyes on my drawers. I slowly walked up to it, it was a picture of my and jasper on our first day of high school.

Flashback:

_"Jasper", I said, please don't leave me". He turned to me slowly, "What makes you think I am going to leave you Bella, we are twins, we stay together forever"._

_"Because this is high school Jasper, and you are very handsome and going to be popular very easy, while I am plain Jane and I am going to fall into the walls"_

_"Don't say that about yourself Bella," he shouted, "How many times do I have to tell you, you are beautiful, I will never leave you behind. I walked to him and hugged him, "Do you promise"_

_"I promise Bella, we are forever together"_

End of Flashback

Yea forever i thought bitterly, I wiped the tears that had fallen from my eyes, and put the picture back on the drawers. I didn't want anything to remind me I had a brother. I walked to my closet and continue to pack, I wanted to be out of here before 'they' arrived.

I looked around the room, one more time before slowly walking out, I shut the door to the room, and to my old life, I have to start over and this time without a twin.

Jasper POV:

We were on our way home, the doctor said she was fine, just had a black eye. I was relieved, Bella didn't do any real damage. I parked the car and everyone got out. we all came up with a plan to talk to her about this, we all agreed this has gotten out of hand. I walked into the house and left the door open for the others to follow. I saw my dad sitting on the couch staring blankly at the wall.

"Dad, whats wrong"

"She is gone, i didn't show her i cared enough and she left just like her mother did". I didn't want to think about who 'she' is. I knew he was talking about but I had to ask. "What she"

"Your sister son, she is gone, and i don't know where, she wouldn't tell me". I slowly sank to the floor. I felt the tears coming out of my eyes. I felt warm comforting hands around me but I could concentrate on that. I pushed her away, she had enough, i didn't know when or if, I would ever see her again.

"Its okay Jazzy babe, we can find her", Alice said to me. "Not if she doesn't want to be found", Rosa said looking down at the floor. Alice stood up quickly, "Why are you always bringing us down, matter of fact why are you here".

"Do you want another ass whoopin Alice". Emmett grabbed Rosa waist before she could come any closer to Alice. "We have to find her" Edward said.

"We don't know where to look"

"We can start by checking her room first"

We all ran upstairs and opened her door, I was shocked and hurt to see that every picture of me and her was still in her room. She must really hate me now. I slowly sank to the floor again. I fucked up big time and this time I dont know if I could fix it.

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**_Review and tell me if you like it. _**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Hey i am on a roll, 3rd update in one day, i hope it proves i am back _**

**_saddest chapter and longest that you will read._**

**_i own nothing  
_**

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Rosa POV:

Edward came running into the room from Bella closet, "Hey look i found something, its a CD with the words 'Bella Diary' on it. Jasper looked up and stretched his hands out, silently asking for the CD. Edward handed it over and Jasper walked out the room. We all got up and followed him towards his room. He open the door and stood by it letting us all in. He looked me dead in the eyes "GO HOME ROSA", he yelled in my face. "Look I just want to help". He didn't argue just motioned for me to come inside. He walked to the CD played and put the CD in. We all got silent when we heard Bella's voice come through the speaker.

"Today is March 3, 2009", (meaning one year from today). "Jasper is still ignoring me, and I don't know what to do. I tried getting him to go the movies with me, but he wouldn't. He told me he has stuff to do, then I find out from James, that he was at the movies, on a date with his girlfriend Alice, I have never met her, but she has met Charlie, I see I am not that important to meet, so I don't really feel that bad, I am nothing special anyways."

I heard Jasper and Edward groaned at that. "She never see herself clearly", Edward said when we all looked at him. Alice looked down ashamed, "I made her feel like that". she muttered to herself. Jasper wrapped his arms around her. "No, we both did, I never took the time to introduce you to her". Everyone got quiet listening to her talk again.

"I haven't been eating as much lately, or sleeping, yesterday there was a thunderstorm and I was hoping Jasper would come in and stay with me like he use to, but he didn't, so I had to stay up all night. I have a secret to tell you, nobody knows this, I have been hiding it very well, actually no ones pay attention to me to see it but I went to the doctor the other day and he told me I have depression, he give me some pills to take, but whats the point."

Emmett paused the Cd and looked at Jasper. "You couldn't even see your sister was depressed, depression is such a hard thing to miss". Jasper looked sad, " I spent so much time with Alice, I didn't even notice her.". I couldn't help but whisper "From your everything to your nothing". Jasper turned around to glare at me. "If you are going to be in here making me feel bad then just leave". I didn't say anything I just pressed play at the machine.

"I have been cutting myself, I guess that's part of the depression, but it helps take the pain away from other things, James asked me to join his group today, again I might add but I declined, I wouldn't want to hurt jasper, anymore then I already am, I am such a disappointed to everyone I know. Rosa left me, My dad left me, and now Jasper left me. No body cares about me anymore, I should just end my life."

I had tears in my eyes by the end of that sentence, we all lead her to suicide. I looked around the room to see everyone was crying. Emmett walked over and started to comfort me. "Its okay babe". I shook my head no, it wasn't okay, I started all this"

"Today is March 8, 2009, I have been trying to kill myself for the last 5 days, but nothing is working, so I am giving up, I suck so bad that I cant even kill myself right, ahhhh, why does my life suck so bad, James asked me again today, and I told him the same answer, hold on Jasper is home.". You could hear the happiness when she mentioned Jasper name, it overtook her voice. Jasper started to smile.

you could still hear them talking in the background, "Hey jasper", Bella said excited.

"Whats up Bella, i don't have enough time to talk right now, I have to meet up with Alice soon"

Everyone turn to look at those two. They looked down not wanting to meet anyone's eyes in the room. You could practically feel how bad they were feeling.

"Oh", Bella said detached, "I thought we could hang out, we haven't been together in like forever"

"You make it seem like we are dating"

Bella's laugh filled the room. "I didn't mean like that silly, just like brother and sister, watch a movie, since you blew me off last time"

"Look, not now, Alice is waiting on me"

"You know I never met her"

"you have seen her at school"

"yea"

"so there, you don't need to meet her, look I gotta go, find something to do, bye Bella"

"Wait jasper"

"What Bella", he yelled at her. I felt myself become more angrier the more I heard. "Did you have to be so mean", Emmett said looking at him. Jasper didn't answer, but you saw the tears coming out of his eyes. I shook my head, he didn't deserve sympathy. Nobody in the room did.

"I love you Jasper, have fun"

We didn't hear him reply to 'i love you'. we heard some shuffle before we heard Bella come into the room. I don't think she knew the tape was still on. "I cant take this anymore, he promised me, he said we will stay together forever. where is that at.". We heard something crash into the wall. "I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE". We all jumped when we heard her yell. We heard running then the CD cut off.

"All we did was bring her to depression", Edward said while wiping tears away from his eyes. "Is there anymore CD in her closet?", Alice asked. He shook his head no. "Well what do we do", Emmett asked.

"Has anyone tried texting or calling her".

We all shook our head no, and took out our phones. I sent her a text and waited.

I heard Edwards phone beep and we all looked at him. He opened his phone slowly and then read it aloud.

_you are not to blame and I am sorry I left, but things have come and its my time to leave, bye Edward i will miss u-xoxo ._

Then we heard Emmett phone beep. He did the same thing Edward did,

_I am actually sorry, I judged you before I got to know you, and I am sorry I never took the time to get to know you...so yea..sorry bye._

We heard Alice phone beep and she looked scared about reading her text.

_I don't know how you got my fuckin number, but let me tell you something, let me catch you alone, ur ass is mine bitch-xoxo your favorite person :)_

My phone beep next, and I was more scared than Alice, i didn't want to read so I gave my phone to Emmett and he read it.

_don't act like you care Rosalie because I know you don't, you don't care about me, you are probably follow the crowd like always, be your own person for once, please, break away from the crowd, and be an individual. _

the last phone to beep was Jasper, he opened he phone and started to read.

_Don't look for me, cause you won't find me, have fun with Alice, you guys are made for each other, I don't mean that out of spite either I am being truthful, so I guess we are only childs now...yea.. its true..everything you ever give me is in the top drawer of my room, it would be a miracle it you find me, and a bigger miracle if I ever forgive you. I won't say I love you anymore, cause I am tied of not hearing it back, do you know the last time you said you love me...was when we started high school together. I always knew I was right...I know you found out about my depression, I guess you should find out that my cancer came back, but I am not taking the treatment anymore, whats the point, there is nothing to live for anyways. I am dying at the age of 17 and alone..hope you are happy Jasper. Bye forever. _

"When did she have cancer?", Edward asked. "When she was 11", Jasper voice sounded distant. "I am sorry", I said as I fell on the floor crying my eyes out. "What have I done", I yelled. Emmett pulled me into his arms rocking me back in forth. "I'm sorry" I kept repeat over and over again

Jasper got up fast, " I know where she is, I cant believe I didn't think of this before". Alice got up with him. "Alice, darlin, I think it would be better if me and Rosa just went". She nodded her head in understanding. I got up and walked to jasper, he grabbed me hand and led me to his car.

When we were in, he turned around and said "This is our last chance to say sorry, so lets not fuck up". I nodded my head, and me and him took of to Arizona.

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**_So i hope you like it, i would love for you guys to review, so i know it you hated or loved the way the story is going..any comments or suggestion let me know..._**

**_bye  
_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hey sorry to disappoint you guys but this is not an update its a Author Note,_**

**_I have a simple question,_**

**_Who do you want to the next chapter POV to be in Jasper...or Bella..._**

**_please review and tell me, and if i get it soon i can have the next chapter up by tomorrow_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Well i didn't know how short this one was until i read it, so sorry for the shortness..but WARNING this chapter is very sad, and has cutting.._**

**_i own nothing and you guys got ur wish, it is in both pov,  
_**

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Bella Pov:

I wasn't going to lie to you. Some part of me didn't want to die, another part was tied of fighting a losing battle. I was sick of my brother turning his back on me. I was always last place in his world. I couldnt take it anymore. "Are you alright sweetie", my mom asked. I turned my head to look at her and smiled. She saw right through my pathetic smile. In her house, I didn't have to put on a front, act tougher than I actually am, I could show her the real me. The one that is still hurting, the one that wants her brother back. "It's alright baby girl, we love you, just don't give up on him". I turn my head away from her. If she knew what I was doing she would of known I was already giving up. I was letting the cancer and depression rule my life. I found out before I left forks that my cancer had come back. The doctor told me it was early so I could still remove it again, but really whats the point.

I heard the door bell ring, and my mom excused herself to go get it. When she walked out my room, the tears came down faster. I was a disappointment to everyone. I was doing them a favor by dying. I got out of bed, and walked into the bathroom. I opened my cabinet and found a razor. I was slowly examining it, making sure it was sharp enough, I was ending this now. A small part of my mind was wondering when was the last time I took my anti-depressant, a couple of months for sure, they could be the reason for the sudden death thought. I rose the knife to my wrist pressing down hard, I wasnt going to mess up again this time. I close my eyes imaging all the good times I had with my brother, the laughs, games, movies. I slowly started moving, feeling my skin rip apart.

I felt a firm hand stop me, I looked up and saw a pair of blue eyes staring at me with tears in their eyes. "Bella stop", he said. I dropped the rascor onto the floor and turned to look at him. "You can't have it both way, Jasper, you can't want me in you life and then completely ignore me, I am a human being, I have feeling, and there are only so much I can take", I yelled at him.

"I am so sorry bella"

"Sorry doesnt make it any better"

"Please bella"

"No, I am done". I quickly bent down and grabbed the razor. I put it right on my vein and sliced it. I smiled as the blackness came, surrounding me. I heard my brother pleas in the back of my mind, but I ignored it. I was finally free.

Jasper Pov:

I speeded to my mom house. Rosa and me were too in tone with our own thoughts to talk to each other. I reached her house and under a couple of hours. We rushed to the door, quickly wanting to talk to her, since Rosa had gotten a bad feeling earlier. My mom didn't seem too shock to see me here. She looked at me hopefully. "She is upstairs". She didnt have to say anymore, I rushed up the stairs, in hopes of finding her fast. I went into her room, and saw she wasn't in there, panic slowly started to overcome. I looked around saw the bathroom door closed. I opened it and what I saw will always scar me for life. My sister, my best friend, had a razor to her skin about to cut herself.

I told her to stop, and I was relied when I saw the razor fall on the floor. I stood there listening to her yell at me. I wasn't expecting her to pick up the razor so, I wasn't fast enough to stop her. I watched her slit her wrist and then fall to the ground. "Bella, Bella, baby sis, please wake up, I need you". I picked her up and ran down the steps, I wasn't going to lose her again. I ran passed my mom and Rosa talking and went into the car. They followed me immedaitly into the car, when they saw her.

"What happened", My mom yelled at me as soon I as I started the car. "I try to stop her", I whispered. I was too lost in my thoughts to listen to her anymore. I saw my sister killing herself, that memory will never go away, I am to blame for all this. I made my prayer to God hoping he would help me. "Please, please, please, I can't lose her like this", I kept repeating in my head. I couldnt let her die, not like this, I needed my sister.

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**_Hope you like it, sorry it was so sad, and short._**

**_i am going to be going to my dads house this weekend so i may not write anymore THIS WEEKEND, but if that is the case, be sure to find atleast 3 chapter up doing the weekday.._**

**_see ya, dads bday Monday, for his birthday he would like you guys to..._**

**_ REVIEW_**

**_have a great week peps,  
_**


	9. Chapter 9

**_Great news, _**

**_this is the longest chapter i have written, i decide to make us for the short one, plus i didnt really like that chapter all to well,,BUT I LOVE THIS ONE_**

**_I HAVE NEVER SAID THIS, BUT THANK YOU ALL FOR READING MY STORY IT MEANS ALOT TO ME, THAT I AM GETTING SO MANT REVIEWS, ADN THANK YOU FOR WHO WROTE ME AND TOLD ME TO COME BACK, I DIDNT KNOW YOU GUYS CARED THAT MUCH, BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS FOR THAT AND IF YOU WANT ANY MORE OF MY OTHER STORIES TO FINISH JUST WRITE ME THE NAME AND I WILL START WRITING A.S.A.P_**

**_i own nothing hope you enjoy  
_**

* * *

Jasper POV:

We were all in the waiting room, anxious to get the report back. When we came in the doctor rushed her into the ER room, calling all sorts of order, but the one I heard the most was 'She's losing too much blood'. I got up from the chair and started pacing back in forth like idiot, I just couldn't calm down. My sister could die, and I would be the blame for it. I rubbed my hands over my face violently for about the hundredths time. "Would you calm down", my mom yelled at me, "Your pacing is not going to help the situation anymore than it is.

I had told my mom the whole story about how this led to this and to say she was mad would be an understatement. She slapped my in the face leaving a big red hand print on my cheek, but I didn't argue or try to fight her off, because I deserved. It took all of this for me to see I was hurting someone I vowed to protect with my life.

I stared at my mom, willing her with my eyes to see that this was hurting me too. She turned her head away, muttering under her breath. I was going to reply and say something but a doctor walked in the room. "Swans family", She said looking at her clip board. My mom stood up in a hurry, banging the chair against the wall in the process. She didn't seem too concern about the chair that much though. "That would be us". The doctor looked at us sadly, like she had the worst news in the world.

"Things are looking too good for Bella at the moment, there isn't much we can do for her, she is in a coma sorry to say but she lost too much blood, we just have to wait for her to wake up, if she ever does.".

I sank to my knees, silently crying. This moment was all up to Bella now. Rosa rushed over to me wrapping her arms around me, trying to bring comfort, but really all she was doing was adding more disgust, we are the cause for all this. "She will pull throw this Jasper, she is not a quitter". I didn't answer her, she was clearly stuck up in her mind.

The doctor cleared her throat trying to get our attention back on her. "There is more problems at hand, if she wakes up we are going to have to put her under suicidal watch, and unless one of you can take care of that, then she will have to stay here for some time, also she is going to need therapy, since we have done a body scale and have seen thousand of cuts over her body".

I was shocked beyond reasoning, I knew Bella tried to kill herself, but cutting was a whole different story. I was about to open my mom but at the moment the door busted open and the last person in the world I wanted to see was facing me.

James MaCow

Bella POV:

I knew I wasn't died and that fact disappointed me to no end. God no matter how hard I try I just couldnt get a break. I felt like I was floating in water, lost in memories that involved my brother.

_Flashback: __Jasper and Bella 7yr old_

_"__Jazzy", I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was laughing so hard trying to get away from his hands. He was tickling the life out of me. "Please, Please, you win", I said between my breaths._

_"What do I win Bella", he asked me momentarily stopping his tickle. I smiled at him and didn't answer. He started again smiling at me "I don't hear you"._

_"Okay, you are the best, stronger,and faster at me, boys rule, girls drool." _

_He released me, scooting back so I could get up. I stuck my tongue out at him. "You suck", I whined. He stood up offering me his hand. I ignored it and got up on my own. _

_"Come on don't be like Bells"_

_I turned around and tackle him, he wasn't expecting it so I landed on top of him on the ground. He had the look of pure shock on his face, and I couldnt help but giggle. "Love you twinny"_

_He smiled and hugged me tight. "I love you too"._

_End of Flashback:_

_Flashback: __Jasper and Bella 11yr old_

_"Your such a dork", I said smiling. He acted like he was offended. "Bella", he said putting his hands on his heart, "How could you hurt your own flash and blood". I started laughing, and he soon joined in. _

_"So", I said after we both calmed down, "School is tomorrow, are you ready, we are starting a new year". He knew I hated starting school over, I wasn't very popular, unlike him, I got picked on a lot, when he wasn't around of course._

_"No one is going to mess with you, while I am here", he said taking my hands. _

_If you were to look at us from an outside picture you would think that we are dating but we just like care about each other alot. I smiled at him to let him know I was grateful. "Come on, ole wise one, Rosa is waiting for us"_

_We got up and took off running up the hill laughing like idiot along the way._

_End of Flashback_

_Flashback: __Age 14_

_I was in my room crying, tears rolling down my cheek no stop. How could they do this to us, I thought they loved us. "Bella, its okay", Jasper said wrapping his arms around me. _

_I roughly shoved his arms away ignoring the guilt that overcame when I saw his face. "Its not Jasper, they are getting a divorce, how can you take this so calmly, they are splitting up"_

_"That doesn't mean the love us any less"_

_"God you hang out with too much adult, listen to yourself, show me how you really feel Jasper, we don't keep secrets"_

_He got us and started pacing, "You want to know how I feel", he said seriously. I nodded my head._

_Before I could even think he picked up a picture of mom and dad hugging and threw it at the wall. The glass broke, landing around our foot. "It sucks", he yelled at me, "I hate having to lose one of my parents, I hate having to know, we are one of those family, I wanted us to be a real family, I dont want us to have to split up either, what if they decide that they each want one of us, I cant lose you too Bella, one person in the family is enough"._

_I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him to me. We both sank to the floor, crying on each other._

_End of Flashback:_

I smiled inwardly at myself, those were the days, hanging out as kids. We didn't fight much, we respected each other to much for that. I guess that went out the door when Alice came.

I felt someone take my hand but they didn't speck for a while, I wanted to let them know I was here but my body felt like it weighed a ton.

"Bella, I am sorry". I froze listening to that voice, what was she doing her. Since when did Rosa care. "Bella, you can't leave us like this, we need you. I need you". I heard her sniffled, I was confused, was she crying?. "I should of never left you Bella, god knows why I did it, I thought I could be popular you know, bring up my self-esteem. I am such a idiot, I lost the best friend I ever had, you saw the good in me, I never forgot you Bellzy. I miss the days we used to hang out, talking about nonsense, I wish this never happen, don't leave me Bella, your my best friend, I cant do this without you".

I felt her drop my hand. What she said meant a lot but was I going to forgive her, NO. Its was 4 years of hurt that can't be undone. I am forever going to be scarred because of this.

I heard shuffling then someone gently rub my face. "Bella, baby", my mother said gently, "Come back to us, don't forgot us, we love you. Remember who you are, this isn't the real you Bella, this is the depression taking over, Fight baby girl we need you, you are so important to us, do you know that your brother friend have driven down just to see you, we all miss you, fight for us love"

If I could I would be crying. I didnt know what to, my mind was ready to give up, to just quit fighting. My heart was ready to forgive and more on. I was confused and broken, just like I would also stayed.

I closed my eyes and just went into the blackness, Whats the point anyways?

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**_I mean no offense if you parents are split up, HEY mine are too, they got divorced on my bday so yea...I know it sucks_**

**_I hope you like it.._**

**_PLEASE REVIEW_**

**_ALSO WISH MY FATHER A HAPPY BDAY HIS IS 2MORROW...  
_**


	10. Preview

**Dont hate me for doing this but it had to be done.**

**this is not a chapter but more of a preview, a lot of shit is ABOUT TO DO DOWN**

**I own nothing  
**

**

* * *

Preview For the Biggest Chapter To come:**

"Someone help", I heard Rosa yell. I left James in the hallways staring after me smiling big. I thought that was a little creepy, but I wasn't paying attention to that. "What's wrong", I said breathless as soon as I walked into the room. My eyes widened when I took in the scene of the room. Doctors and nurse rushed in pushing me out the way, trying to reach my sister.

The room starting spinning, my ears ringing, the noise and the room growing mute, as I stared at my sister. This couldn't be happened, I needed more time, Please don't let this happen. Rosa rushed into my arms, I wrapped my arms around her, giving her comfort that she needed. "I am sorry Jasper, I don't know what happen, one minute I was talking to her the next, blood was pouring everywhere".

I didn't answer her, I couldn't, I was still shocked. The doctors finally noticed our presence and told someone to take us out the room. We were dragged walked back into the waiting room by a nurse with tears down her eyes. James stood in the same spot as I left him, only now his smile was bigger, showing teeth and everything."I told you this would happen if you didn't let me see her", he said before he walked out the hospital.

I sank to the floor, tears streaming down my face, I lost her, I finally lost her, my best friend, my family. There wasn't going to be anymore second chances, no more apologize, no more fun or tears. I gave up on her and she gave up on life.

What the fuck could go wrong now, I looked up and I got my question answered. A lot, A lot could go wrong now.

**Coming Soon

* * *

**

**_Please review, it gives me reason to write more chapter, _**

**_tell me what you think about this one right here, first time ever_**

**_oh me and my friend are going to start a writing club, when we get everything settled we will let you in on the info until then _**

**_REVIEW THE STORY  
_**


	11. Chapter 11

_Sorry for the long delay, i was out of the country for my moms wedding, then got sick, like really sick, then got in trouble,_

_then the stupid site wont let me put it up..ahhh  
_

_so i wont keep you waiting anymore here it is_

_i own nothing  
_

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Rosa POV:

I slowly walked into the room, I was nervous, what if she doesn't wake up? I rushed to her side taking her hand into mine. "Hey Bella, I'm back, again." I gave her a weak laugh, "Bet your sick of me talking to you, I would be". I looked down at her arms, tracing the scars that were there. "I can't believe we lead you to this, I can't believe I just abandoned you, just for popularity" I gave an unladylike like snort, "Being popular doesn't mean anything but being judged for every stinking thing you do, you never get privacy or time to relax, you always have to be up to date on everything, one wrong move and your the laughing stock of the whole school. I never meant to hurt you", I slowly closed my eyes, replying the scene that I will always regret.

_Flashback:_

_"Its about time you told the toad to get lost", Jessica sneered in my ears. We were in the hallways watching Bella approach. "Do it now, before someone see us with her", Lauren said pushing my towards her. _

_"Whats up", Bella said finally reaching me. She stole a quick look behind me before making eye contact with me. "Get lost Bella, we can't be friends anymore". Her eyes widened before narrowing. _

_"Are you seriously ending our friendship, that we had for six years."_

_"Yea"_

_"WHY"_

_"Look at me, then look at you, I cant be seen having ugly friends"_

_"What", she said dumbfounded,_

_"Dont act stupid Bella, it just adds to the list of negative about you"_

_"I...You...Fuck you Rosa, I dont need you as a friend"_

_"Okay then, get lost loser", I said pushing her. I may have pushed her to hard because she fell on the floor. Tears welled up in her eyes and she sat on the floor glaring at me. "Aw look the little baby's going to cry", Jessica said. Lauren and I burst out laughing. Lauren opened her juice and poured it all over Bella. I was shocked, that wasnt suppose to happen. Bella glared at me before runnning off_

_Flashback"Over_

"I was so mean", I whispered, "I hope you can forgive me, I was young and stupid you know Bella, I love you, please dont give up". Bella's hands tense up. It wasnt long before I saw the blood and I started to scream.

Bella POV:

I dont know what happened, one minute I was listening to Rosa talk to me, the next i'm in searing pain. It felt like someone was trying to strangling me. The walls in my head started closing in on me. I started wheezing not be able to get enough air to my lungs. Pain shot through my whole body making me wanna scream and shake. I knew cancer was bad but this is unbelieveable. I couldnt take it anymore, I tried to open my mouth and scream but it felt like someone was trying to cave my chest in.

I was dying, that had to be the only reason why I was in so much pain. I stopped trying to fight the pain. I was sick of fighting battle I knew I was going to lose. Blackness surrounded me and I welcomed in. I was finally free.

Jasper POV:

"Someone help", I heard Rosa yell. I left James in the hallways staring after me smiling big. I thought that was a little creepy, but I wasnt paying attention to that. "What's wrong", I said breathless as soon as I walked into the room. My eyes widened when I took in the scene of the room. Doctors and nurse rushed in pushing me out the way, trying to reach my sister.

The room starting spinning, my ears ringing, the noise and the room growing mute, as I stared at my sister. This couldn't be happened, I needed more time, Please don't let this happen. Rosa rushed into my arms, I wrapped my arms around her, giving her comfort that she needed. "I am sorry Jasper, I dont know what happen, one minute I was talking to her the next, blood was pouring everywhere".

I didn't answer her, I couldn't, I was still shocked. The doctors finally noticed our presence and told someone to take us out the room. We were dragged walked back into the waiting room by a nurse with tears down her eyes. James stood in the same spot as I left him, only now his smile was bigger, showing teeth and everything."I told you this would happen if you didn't let me see her", he said before he walked out the hostipal.

I sank to the floor, tears streaming down my face, I lost her, I finally lost her, my best friend, my family. There wasn't going to be anymore second chances, no more apologize, no more fun or tears. I gave up on her and she gave up on life.

What the fuck could go wrong now, I looked up and I got my question answered. Alot, Alot could go wrong now.

Rosa POV:

The months following Bella's death was hard. Everyone was still in a state of shock. Jasper wouldnt talk to anyone for weeks, before Alice had enough and forced him to. It was hard telling how she felt about the situation. Not once has she cried, since Bella died. It makes me feel like she knows something. Sometimes when we mention Bella, she would smile and say its for the best. It was uncomfortable and creepy. Emmett was trying his best to keep it together. He didnt know her but he always wanted to. When he heard me cry he would always cry with me. He said tears always help the situation, we should cry it all out. He wasnt afraid to cry. Edward was as bad as Jasper, which confused the hell out of me.

"Come on everyone"Alice said, pulling me from my thoughts. Today was Bella's funeral. Everyone in town was coming which was a shocker to me cause everyone thought of her as a trouble maker. I walked down the stair, in all black. My dress stopped at my ankle but it hugged every curve my body had to offer. When I reached the bottom Emmett grabbed my hand pulling me in for a hug. He rested his head on top of my chin on top of my head. "We will get through this, no matter what, this isnt your fault what happened either, what happened happen you cant change that". I nodded my head but I didnt believe him. It all started with me. I felt Emmett grab my chin forcing me to look in his eyes. "I'm serious Rosa , this isnt your fault." I couldnt argue with the fierce determination in his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tight. This guy will forever be my rock.

Jasper POV:

We were at the funeral home. It hasnt even started yet and I had tears in my eye. This was something i wasnt ready to face. This funeral was proving that my sister was not coming back. Alice grabbed my hand and lead us to our seats. I heard my moms loud sobs behind me and I felt my guilt intensify. She hasnt spoken to me since Bella died. I felt like she blamed me like everyone else did.

"Welcome ladys and gentlemen" said the speaker, " We are gather here for the death of our dear friend Isabella Swan".

The tears started falling faster now, nobody has said her name since we have returned home. "She was a great person, maybe did some bad things but then again who hasnt. She was talented and we have a CD to prove it." He walked away from the mic to put the CD in box. Seconds later Bella voice came through the speaker.

"Happy birthday, mom, I hope you love this CD i made for you..I know its cheap but i didnt have time to get you anything, well really its because Jasper said he was busy and kept putting it off, and you know I wont go without him." I heard her sign and I felt everyone eyes on me. "Anyways, I love you mom and this is for you."

_See ya sleepin'_

_On the ground_

_See ya screamin'_

_With no sound_

_When your blanket starts to wear _

_I'll be there_

_See 'em peekin'_

_Every night_

_Momma's beaten_

_Don't know why _

_when your tears begin to shred_

_ill be there_

_in those times when you feel all alone_

_forced to find your way through force unknown_

_look ahead and dont be scared _

_ill be there_

_ill be there through the rough rain and rain and ice_

_ill be there when the night falls and trouble rise_

_ill be there when you need me_

_no matter what how or when_

_my friend_

_ill be there_

_see'm them bleeding_

_no more smiles_

_goodbye letters _

_on the ground_

_when no one will spare their ears_

_ill be there_

_when your back's up_

_on the wall_

_Chronic failure_

_You've been called_

_When you feel there's no escape_

_I'll be there _

_[CHORUS]_

_I'll be there through the rough winds and rain and ice_

_I'll be there when the night falls and troubles rise_

_I'll be there when you need me_

_No matter what how or when_

_My friend_

_I'll be there _

_Whenever you're faced with what you feel like you can't bare_

_Call on me and I'll be_

_Beside you until the end_

_Lift your head up and stand tall_

_Promise I won't let you fall_

_When you reach I will extend_

_I'll be there _

_[CHORUS]_

_I'll be there through the rough winds and rain and ice_

_I'll be there when the night falls and troubles rise_

_I'll be there if you need me no matter what how or when_

_My friend_

_I'll be there through the rough winds and rain and ice_

_I'll be there when the night falls and troubles rise_

_I'll be there when you need me no matter what how or when_

_My friend_

Everyone in the crowd has tears in their eyes. Her voice was so beauty. It seemed like the song i heard in the car was just practice to what it sounded like now. They guy cut the CD off and walked back to the mic. "She will forever be missed, does anyone have anything to say". A few people raised and he handed the mic to my dad first.

"Bella was always a great child, Jasper and her were the greatest thing i could ever ask for. I love her with my heart. She was smart, and beautiful, full of life. Her and Jasper are...were best friend." I heard his voice cracked when he fixed his mistake. "I wish she was here to know how I really felt, to know that i loved her, will always love her, how i was an bad dad, ignoring her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. I should of been there for her...I should of..."

His voice cut off as he fell on the ground sobbing. Sue his current girlfriend rushed over to help him. Rosa gently took the mic from his hands and started talking.

"Hi everyone", she said with a weak smile. "Bella and me were best friend since the third grade actually. I remember her being the new kid. She walked in the room all shy and junk. I saw some bullies making there way over to her and i couldnt let that happen she looked so innocent, so i saved her. I took her to my serect hide out and threatened her that if she told anyone i would not talk to her, she laughed and said who am i going to tell. The rest was history, we spent all the time together, we fought but we always made up". She blinked away some tears, "We arent going to be able to this time, I am really going to miss her, her laugh they way she could make anything funny, if she really wanted to. she was my best friend, and she will always be no matter what".

She handed the mic back to the specker and took a seat, wiping away tears. "Does anyone have anything else to add"

I saw a guy and the back stand up and walked towards. I wipe my eye to make sure my head wasnt playing tricks on me, but it wasnt, there he stood in all his plainness, James McCOW.

"You guys are all so funny", He said with a deadly calm voice, "If she was here right now, none of you would give a crap. You would continue to ignore her, for you friends, girlfriend or job. I dont even know why half of you are here. For example ROSA, you left her, she left you, i think that is kinda fair"

"What the hell do you think you are doing", Charlie yelled at James.

James looked at him, but otherwise ignored him." None of you were good enough to spend time with her. All she wanted was alittle attention. Yea i may have introduced her to drugs, but it help keep a smile on her face. Bella was depressed, everyone in here knows it. She hated her life, no matter what, that girl you guys are talking about i have never meet. The Bella i know was smart-ass, fighter. She was cold and hardcore. She hated Rosa, Alice, and Jasper with a passion. She hated everyone for leaving her, ignoring her, she wanted love and not one DAMN MOTHERFUCKER IN HERE GAVE IT TO HER. She fucking hated her life, she tried to kill herself in front of me, ME. Do you know how that feels to watch someone you cared about kill themselves in front of you, and you cant do anything cause you no this is the only way out of her pain?"

Tears started forming at his eyes and he quickly wiped them away

"You people make me sick, sitting here trying to make her life better than what it was, speck the truth, stop hiding, do you see where hiding gets you? ITS GET YOU KILLED"

He dropped the mic and walked out slamming the door behind. The room shock from the impact. The room was dead silent, no one knew what to say. The speaker picked up the mic and cleared his throat, he opened his mouth to talk, but then closed it.

"We all know the doctors are still looking for her body so we are just going to bury a casket for her." Everyone nodded and stood up. Its time to make this finale

Bella POV:

I stood by the door, thinking over my decision. This was going to hurt alot, physical, mental and emotional. I felt someone grab my hand, "Come on , you can do this", she spoke softly. I closed my eyes and pictured my family, i was going really going to miss them. I nodded my head, i could be strong and do this. I turned around in look the girl in the eye "Are you sure this is safe?" She nodded her head yes. I sighed and walked forward. I never thought i see the day when i listened to Alice Cullen

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REVIEW AND GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS, HOPE YOU LIKE IT


	12. Chapter 12

HEY GUYS SORRY FOR THE DELAY I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH ALOT OF STUFF

BUT GOOD NEW, SCHOOL IS OUT END OF THE MONTH

SO THERE HAS BEEN SOME CONFUSION ON MY STORIES, NO BELLA IS NOT DEAD BUT EVERYONE BUT ALICE''S THINK SHE IS

SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION THAT WASN'T MY INTENTION.

BUT IMPORTANT QUESTION

...

...

...

WHO POV DO YOU WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER TO BE IN

THE MOST VOTED WILL DETERMINE HOW THE STORY WILL GO FROM NOW


	13. Chapter 13

_**I know all you guys must want to strangle me, and im so sorry for that. if you are still reading my storys thanks and im sooooo sorry for the wait but i had writers block and today i was listening to skyscraper by demi lovato and it hit me..so thanks her and **_

_**i dont own anything**_

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'Bella POV:

When I first listened to Alice tell me about getting help I was outraged. Who the hell did she think she was suggesting I had problems that I couldn't handle on my own. I wanted to kill her, but instead I settled for yelling Bloody Mary at her. She sat there and let me insult her, let me call her every name in the book. When I was done all she did was look me in my eyes and said im taking that as I yes. At that time I had to laugh after all that she still wasn't backing done so I didnt say anything I just looked at her and she slowly stood up and said "Ill be seeing you in a few Bells," then she walked out the room. When she suggested that I lie to my family and make them think I was dead I wasnt sure how to feel on that. I know they hurt ed me but I didnt think it was fair to make everyone else hurt to, especially not Edward. I know what your thinking how could I, his twin sister forget my own brother and think of someone who i just happen to have a crush on, nothing more just a crush or so I keep telling myself, sick I know, but I learned to live with it so do the same.

When I first entered this place I thought it was hell. First rule from Alice I couldn't be known as Isabella Swan anymore because everyone thought I was dead. They wanted so much of me from this place, first they had me start my treatment for cancer so I wouldn't die. Then they said I had to stop doing the drugs because it was killing me, At first I agreed but I was naive how could I forget about they withdraw. I was sick for days in pain, barely able to move, I was cranky to everyone and I snapped easily but they still refused to give me back my drugs. After a while I started doubting myself again, I talked myself into quitting saying nothing was happening anyways I begged Alice to come get me, but she wouldnt listen to me. she told the people that worked here what I was saying and they made me go to group council. They said the only way I was going to stop thinking like that was if I talked about. I instantly denied that, I was not down for talking but everyday the force something out of me to it all come spewing out.

I couldnt keep it in anymore I told them all about how I hated myself for pushing everyone away. I told them how I was jealous when I was saw Jasper with Alice I felt like she was taking my place. He was the last one I had to lean on and he was ripped from me by the wrongdoer. After I told them that they made Alice come in. She told me she was sorry and more bullshit that I wont repeat. Things started to look up from there, I knew I was getting better, I hadnt hurt myself in so long, for the first time in a while I felt happy without the drugs.

After a while I started thinking, I didnt want to make my family think I was dead so I sent one little letter to Jasper, I didnt know how wrong I was to have sent that, I didnt know it would cause so much trouble, and I didnt know I would have ended up getting people hurt and some killed in the process, if only I learned to listen to rules, if only I learned to stop being a hard head and just go with the flow like Alice said, none of this would of happened.

Jasper POV:

The day if happened I thought it was a sick joke someone was pulling on me, the more I thought about it the more angry I got, why did they have to do this to me? Why did they have to fuck up my life? I had so many question for the sender of this note, Why did this note have to come, did you do it to hurt me even more? Why did it have to mess with my head make me wonder and question everyone around me? Why did I check the mailbox that day? but most importantly, Why did i have to open it?.

4 weeks before:

I was sitting at the table not really doing anything, not really seeing anything, I was just numb. it was 3 months after her funeral. it sickening me that I couldnt even come to terms with myself to say her name, what type of brother was I. My father walked in looking just as big of a mess as I was. He hadn't shaved in months, he looked rough and frankly quite dirty too. He sat at the table just staring a the wood while I stared at him. "What are you looking at", he said quite rudely. I didnt comment on it, I rarely say anything anymore, I just move my eyes from him to look at the window. My eyes caught sight of the mailbox that look like it was about to blow. "Whens the last time you got the mail?", I asked my dad in a monotone voice. "Who cares", was his brilliant response.

I got up from the table and walked outside. It felt like I was in a haze. I was in the house with the mail on the table before I could even registered going outside. I slowly skim threw the mail, making piles of which were bills and which were unimportant. Some had her name of it invites and other stuff that I couldnt bring myself to read. I picked up the pile of trash mail about to throw them away when one slipped to the floor. Groaning I put the rest back on the table and went to pick it up.

I stopped short recognize the handwriting, it looks just like hers, I shook my head, Im going crazy now. my sister is dead, she has been dead for so long. something in me told me to open it, I tried to ignore it but I had to know what was inside. I guess that was my downfall right there. I slowly ripped the top of and unfolded the paper.

Reading the paper tears started to fall down my cheek hitting the floor making a small puddle, I didnt know how to feel, but I settle on mad, who the hell thought it would be a good idea to make a prank out of this, it wasnt funny it was sick and cruel and so immature. I balled the paper up and threw it on the floor. I had to get out the house so I called Alice and asked her to come get me. I needed someone to talk to this about and who better than Alice, she always knew what to say, she was perfect, or so I thought.

Charlie POV:

After jasper ran at of the house, I wanted to know what had upset him so badly. I looked on the floor to see the note crumpled. I slowly opened it and read. Thinking back on it now I wish I hadnt, I wished I hadnt been so nosiey, I wish I hadnt stepped into the kitchen that day, in for once in my life I wish I hadnt had twins.

I slowly dropped the crumpled paper on the floor leaving it hurtful words there. I called Billy and asked him to pick me up, I couldnt stay here anymore not right now.

Third Person View:

The note stayed on the floor laying there, haunting everyone with it words. scarring them for life. I don't think Bella meant to hurt anyone with this note, I think she wanted to help everyone but what she did was bad, she started a chain reaction to the simple note she wrote, she didnt know she was miss this deeply, she didnt know the consequences of her actions. If only she would have learned sooner.

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_**So tell me what you think, sorry if there are misspelling or grammar problems i kinda down right now so yea but review and tell me what do you think of my comeback...**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Well guys, i dont own anything, the song is called Liar Liar, by Christina Grimmie, if you havent heard it, well then you better listen to it, cause is freaking rocks**

**Aslo thanks for reading the story and staying with me this long, i started school so it should be easier to keep on track with my writing now,**

**Sorry for grammer errors, or any other, hope you like this chapters and well now you can READ...  
**

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Jasper POV:

I hopped in the car with Alice quickly in a hurry to get the hell away from the house. "Whats wrong Jazz", my caring girlfriend asked, i didn't have in it been to tell her what what went wrong so i shook my head and decided to tell her later. The note brought broke so many memories i tried to block from my head. They all consisted of my twin sister, and to be honest none of them were happy thoughts.

_Flashback:_

"_Mommy", I said in a small voice, "Whats wrong with Bella" My mom looked down on me with sad eyes, "She is very sick Jasper, the doctors are trying to help her". I froze and looked at my mom in fear. "She isn't going to die is she". My mom didn't answer me, she didn't even look at me, but i saw a tear drop from her eyes._

_I dropped my moms hands and walked into Bella's room. "Jasper, get out of there", my mom shouted at me. I didn't care, my sister needed me, and i wasnt going to let anything stop me._

_She laid on the bed, looking pale and thin. Her hair was thin, some seem to have fallen out, she was breathing heavy, like each breath pained her, but when she saw me she seemed to brighten up. "Hey Jazz, i was wondering when you would come in here, i haven't seen you in a while"_

"_Sorry" i said stroking her hand, "mom wouldn't let me know what what was wrong, and blocked the door like her life depended on it"._

_Bella just rolled her eyes and leaned back on the pillow. "Im glad your here Jasper, i don't feel so good though, weak actually"_

"_Whats wrong Bella"_

"_The doctor seems to think i have cancer" she closed her eyes and her hand dropped lazily to in my hand. "Bella", i shouted trying to get her to respond, she didn't and i freaked out. "Mom", I yelled at the top of my lungs. _

_End of Flashback:_

I jumped when i felt something grabbed my hand, i looked down to see it was Alice hands. I tried to smile at her but im sure it came out more as a grimace. Her face pulled down into a frown. "Baby what's wrong, i cant help you unless you tell me what went wrong", she said while stroking my hand in a tender manner.

"Alice i got a letter today", i said dully

"Okay that doesn't sounds so bad", she said confused. I shook my head to let her know i wasn't done. "The note said something about Bella". i chocked the name out, this was the first time i said the name since she has died.

Alice hand stilled on mine and it seemed that she has frozen on the spot. She slowly turned her head in my direction, completely forgetting that she was driving. "What did the note say", she demanded. I was shook and slightly confused as to why she wanted to know so bad. "Nothing much, just bullshit". She pulled on to the side of the road and turned the car off.

"What did the note say Jasper, just tell me"

"Why does it matter Alice, it was some sick joke that someone thought was funny"

she closed her eyes and bowed her head. "Please Jasper", she sad in a broken whispered. I couldn't deny her in that voice, so i told her.

"It basically said that Bella was alive, and well, getting better, and she misses me", Alice shook her head and mumbled 'no' over and over again. "I don't see what is so wrong, i mean yea it upset me that someone would mess with me at a time like that but im getting over it". It didn't seem to me like Alice was listening to anything i was saying. "Why won't she fucking listen", Alice yelled out in anger. i sat confused and an little shocked in my seat, Alice wasnt one for yelling out in anger. "Why wont who listen", i asked.

"Bella"

"What do you mean Bella", i whispered. Alice eyes widened when she realize what she said. "Nothing", she said quickly and turned around to start the car. i grabbed her hand and prevented her from moving. "Answer me Alice", i said. She closed her eyes and put her head down again and softly whispered "Bella not really died, i sent her to a help center, to help her get rid of her depression and cancer".

To say i was mad would be a big understatement. "What the fuck Alice, how could you do this to me, to my family, our fucking friends, did you stop to think about how this would affect the rest of us, she isn't some sick person you can drop off at any place and expect people not to care, she has a family, who missed her and thought she was died. what is wrong with you" I hoped out the car, disgusted with my so called 'girlfriend' and walked down the road back to my house. I didn't look back once, but i wouldn't lie and say it didn't hurt when she didn't turn around for me.

Alice POV:

Tears leaked out my eyes, making my shirt stick to me. Usually i wouldn't be bothered by that but i didn't care at the moment, the best thing of my life just walked away from me and i didn't know what to do. I picked up my phone and called the one person who caused this whole problem.

She answered after the third ring. "What's up Ally"

"You wanna know whats up", i said angrily, " my relationship is in jeopardy cause your ass wanted to send a fucking letter, why cant you listen Bella, why are you so damn thick skulled. God i swear Bella, i wished i just would of let you died on the fucking machine" I hung up the phone and threw it at the chair.

after a minute i started to feel guilty, i knew i didn't mean it, i was just speaking out of anger. I called her back to apologize but all i got was her voicemail. I knew something bad was going to happen now. I slammed my head on the steering wheel making the horn beep loudly, i couldn't find it in myself to care at this moment though. I seriously fucked up

Bella POV:

I turned my phone off after Alice called me. Another person who is just going to bring me down. I slipped down to the floor in heaps, i didn't mean to hurt her relationship, i just didn't want my brother to suffer. i cuddled into a ball, and starting letting the numb feeling i used to feel come back to me. Fuck progress, Fuck this, Fuck everyone.

I knew i was finally above killing myself, so i did something else to help ease the pain. I picked myself off the floor and walked down the hall into the music room. I seen the piano sitting in plain sight, calling out to me, to let me help it take the pain away. No one knew i knew how to play piano, i wanted to keep it a secret. I sat down on the stool and rain my hand over the keys.

_Can't see you anymore_

_You're an inch out the door_

_Didn't know what I do know now_

_With the words I've been betrayed_

_You respond and let them fade_

_And I just won't let you bring me down_

_You can see what I know and I know_

_Somewhere there's a sorry heart_

_Tell me why these roads keep leading_

_Leading you right back to me_

_Liar liar_

_Don't cry on my shoulder_

_You played with fire and smiled when you told her_

_Woaah oooh_

_Thought you were someone_

_Woaah oooh_

_Goodbye to no one_

_So break away the touch_

_The bliss you miss so much_

_But I won't tell you to come back home_

_Emotions dissipate_

_Your love designed to hate_

_Keep on driving away from here_

_I don't reach as it falls in your hands_

_Will there be another storm_

_Tell me why these roads keep leading_

_Leading you right back_

_Liar liar_

_Don't cry on my shoulder_

_You played with fire and smiled when you told her_

_Woaah oooh_

_Thought you were someone_

_Woaah oooh_

_Goodbye to no one_

_I don't need to know you'll be there_

_You're not on my mind_

_I don't need to know you care_

_Please don't waste my time_

_Liar liar_

_Don't cry on my shoulder_

_You played with fire and smiled when you told her_

_Liar liar_

_Don't cry on my shoulder_

_You played with fire and smiled when you told her_

_Woaah oooh_

_Thought you were someone_

_Woaah oooh_

_Goodbye to no one_

_Woaah oooh_

_Thought you were someone_

_Woaah oooh_

_Goodbye to no one_

I closed my eyes, as tears fell out my eyes. I guess something just have to be done.

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** So i bet you love the song, it you still havent listen to it yet, im greatly disappointed in you. **

**ANYWHOOOO... thanks for reading my story and hope to see the numbers skyrocket like last time**


	15. Chapter 15

**_Wow this is the shortest chapter i ever did._**

**_I hope you like it, im trying to update every 2 weeks or atleast somewhere closer to that, hopefully you like it, so yea read and let me know_**

**_PS:_**

**_Thank you to everyone who is reading my story, i noticed not alot of you guys are review and thats okay but thank to the three who are. It means alot to every one who is reading regardless if you are reviewing or not, so i just wanted to thanks for the rates and everything._**

_**From your over-emotional writing, Leia...:)**_

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Bella POV:

Who would of thought it would come to this? Who would of thought I would be back? Back at the house I swore to myself to never return. Back to the place where I got hurt, where I was abandoned, where I lost myself. Standing outside the door made everything different. It made me seem like a whole different person. I wasn't that Bella anymore. I wasn't the one who would go off and smoke her problems away. I was a mature and better person now, I wouldn't let myself get back to that stage no matter what happens here. I would be strong for myself and not for my family. I couldn't let promises of a few pain free moment to rule my life anymore.

I couldn't be more greatly for Alice, doing what she did. Thats why Im standing here outside my home, about to lose everything I was fighting for. I still remember the pain it took to do all this, I remember everyone who helped me, refusing to let my quit.

_Flashback:_

"_Give me my damn drugs", I yelled at the top of my lungs. The pain was to much to bear. How could I let a brother-stealing hoe convince me to come to a place like this. It wasn't worth it. Nobody was worth it. "Fight it, fight the impulse, remember what you are trying to achieve her. Remember you want to be better, you want the world to think of you better", my friend Jessica said. "I don't know what the fuck you are talking about, I don't give a fuck about what people think of me.", I said through my teeth. I didn't need people couching me to do better. I was fine on my own._

"_You can't do this own your own Bella, and you know it", Jessica said studying me. _

"_What are you a dam mind-reader?"_

"_No, you are just an open book", she said laying back down on her bed. She stared at me for a few moment, just looking. It slowly started to irritate me. "What the hell are you looking at", I spat at her. She cocked her head to the side, looking at me from a different angle before flipping over upside down. "Why are you so angry at the world Bella". _

"_Im not". I said switching my glaze from her to the wall across from me. I stared at it until it started turning red. "No one owes you anything Bella." I flipped my head around to her fast, making my neck hurt. "Who said anyone did?"_

"_Just because you have been hurt doesn't mean you can hurt other people in return. Your not God, you have no right to judge people, because you are just like them. We are all imperfect."_

"_What is this church", I said trying to avoid the topic. She got off the bed and crawled to the floor in front on me. "No this is me, trying to get you to let go of the anger.". _

"_For the last fucking time I don't have any damn anger."_

"_See there it is"_

_I was tired and she could see it. I was sick of putting on a mask, I was so sick of holding everything in. I finally just wanted to let go of the baggage on my chest. _

"_It hurts", I said my voice cracking while tears fell down my face. "Its going to hurt, but to be able to move past it, you have to go through it, you cant keep dodging it, or else it going find a way to come back to you"._

"_What am I suppose to do"_

"_Talk about it", and that exactly what I did that night. I talked about how hurt I was when Rosa left me, how i felt when she tried to apologize. I talked about my brother, how i hated hurting him, but i felt like he needed to see what it felt like to be in my place. _

"_You cant do that", she said making sure i was looking at her_

"_Do what", I said looking away._

"_You can't keep thinking revenge it the best answer, let me tell you something, revenge has a sister and her name is Karma and from what i heard karma is a bitch,"_

_I laughed because that was the first time i ever heard Jessica curse._

_I talked about how the only real reason I hate Alice so much how i avoid looking in the mirrors, cause i was afraid of what i would see. That night was the night i finally decide to let the mask down, and become who i really was. _

_A scared girl looking for acceptance._

_End of Flashback_

I was ready for this. I could handle being able to talk to Jasper again. Alice was right, I did mess everything up but I was going to fix them. Starting with operation one, saying Goodbye.

Before I could knock something grabbed my hand and flipped me around.

"Bella", Edward gasped out. He looked like he seen the dead. Well truthfully speaking I was suppose to be dead.

"Hi", i replied timidly back

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_**Hope you like it, thanks for reading and **_

_**sorry to those who lost there loved one to 9/11 **_

_**I hope yu guys have a great rest of the week**_


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